Thursday, May 5, 2011

chapter 2 a new life

 On the day of my birthday I quickly finished packing the rest of my clothes when my mother had taken my father to the pub so he would be out of the house when I left. I picked up my bags after putting pillows under the blanket so it would look like I was sleeping, then I walked out of the house and just kept walking turning every now and then.
    It started to get dark so I tried to find somewhere to sleep but there was nowhere to sleep except a park bench so I decided to make a little shelter under a park bench by placing a blanket over the top. After I woke up I packed up my stuff and tried to find something to eat. I walked past a street of shops and walked into a bakery and tried to get some food. I went up slowly and was looking at the counter when the cashier asked if I was okay. I simply replied I was looking for some food. “Well little girl do you have any money or do you know where your mummy is to pay for this.” “No I ran away from home and I have no money I am ten years old but I am hungry and cold” “well little girl how about I give you some food and then you can stay with me , how rude of me my name is Dragona. What is your name sweetie” “my name is Amélie it was my birthday yesterday and I ran away from my daddy because he would hit me and my mummy”. Ok I will get my wife to take you upstairs and get you cleaned up. “Kallista will you take this little girl and clean her up” “sure come with me honey”.
   The baker’s wife took me upstairs and told me I should just let her know what happened previously to me running away. I told her what had happened and then I asked if I could have a bath because I haven’t had one in more then two months because my daddy spent all of the bill money on beer. So she showed me where the bathroom was and got me a towel she told me to just let her know when I was out and she would prepare a room for her.
   I had a bath and when I got out the water was almost like dirt I got out of the bathroom and I was in my pajamas and I went into the kitchen where kallista was, to let her know that I was out of the bath. She showed me to a spare room that had a computer a bed and a fairly big closet. I hung my clothes in the closet and then I put on my blankets into the bed and went to go have lunch. I went down to the martial arts studio and I walked in on dragona teaching a class for young kids. I was about to leave when he asked if I would like to learn as well. I thought it might be fun so I said yes.
   It turned out that I was really good t tae kwon do and I was the youngest dragona was surprised. I looked around the room and on the wall was two katarna’s crossed it looked really cool.


  1. Awesome Amelie! Brilliant writing!

    If you want some constructive criticism, try to put more detail into the things that happen, like sometimes it is like oh well this happened then this happened but overall it is an awesome story and I can't wait for the next part!

  2. YAY!!! WE are helping Amelie!
    Very engaging story Amelie! I love it. I can't wait to read more! :D
    Thanks for posting!

  3. Interesting story! I like it a lot! It seems just a tad unrealistic at the moment, though, 'cause when Amelia said how she had no money because she ran away from home. Dragona was just like oh ok well why don't you live with me and have something to eat. I don't think he would have done that...
    But I DO like it! Hope to read some more soon!

  4. This is an amazing story.

    i love the story line and the character formation :) it's well written and flows.

    If i can give you some constructive criticism, i would just work a little on punctuation. But other then that fantastic

    -claps hands together happily-

  5. Wow! This is brilliant! Wish I could write like this! You are SO going to be an amazing author! If you don't mind me saying, you could work at little on the punctuation. But otherwise it's fabulous! Great story, I loved it!

  6. This is a great story! Keep writing!